Katerina Writes

I kept my back to him. Focused on the waffles. My hands weren’t steady.  

I shouldn’t be nervous. This was Moira’s Dad. And the one I always I avoided at the events. Only if we were in a group did I stand near him. But last night had changed something. Something I would think about later. 

“Coffee?” I said busying myself with the waffle iron and made the mistake of looking over my shoulder.  I’d seen him hundreds of times, in black jeans and a t-shirt. I’d even seen him dressed at doctor functions with Diana. 

But seeing him in my kitchen standing in the doorway. Black hair swept back.  Dark eyes, calm and assessing.  My pulse kicked up.

My big kitchen felt too damn small with him standing it. 

Shame and guilt pierced me. No Helen we do not think like that about another man. Especially another woman’s husband. 

“Sure,” he said, “I can help myself.” 

“Mugs are to my left,” I said pointing with my spatula. 

He moved around me to grab a mug, his chest a few inches behind me. Warmth radiated from him. And he was close enough that I could smell his scent.  Cedar and mint. 

It was awkward, but strangely comforting. 

Awkward because this was not my husband. Comforting because Declan always had a way of putting me at ease. 

Is this how it should be? 

“Dad, you’re here,” Moira said.

Thank God, the girls had come downstairs.

Moira came over and hugged her father.  Ava had never hugged Jonathan like that. Not once. 

He kissed the top of her head, and my heart fluttered. I was staring and Declan caught my eyes. I looked away. “Who wants waffles?”

The three girls sat around the island laughing, something about some current social media video. Their laughter rang through the house and although there were shadows under Sasha’s eyes she was laughing too. 

They gulped down the waffles.  If they wanted more, I’d make them more. Last night could have been different. 

Declan handed me my coffee cup, refilled with hot coffee and then he leaned against the counter sipping his coffee. 

“Last night could have been a lot worse,” he said. 

I leaned sipped my coffee and leaned against the counter next to him, keeping some distance from him. 

“I’m glad you were there,” I said quietly. Watching as Ava laughed as she leaned over Sasha’s phone.

“That is so gross,” she said and continued laughing.

“I just called the police,” Declan said, he too watched the girls. “You pinned the kid to the wall.”

I shrugged. 

Declan than turned to face me leaning only his right hip against the counter and his eyes roved over my face and our eyes held. “Hmm, just a suburban mom,” he said and sipped his coffee.

My face heated and I needed to change the subject. 

“I got a hug and an apology, this morning,” I said.

Declan moved again and faced away from me. 

“I don’t think I’ve gotten a hug from Moira in a while,” he said. 

“That’s practically a unicorn moment,” I said. 

He gestured with his mug toward the girls. “Thanks for taking this on.”

“It’s no big deal.”

“I’m just glad you found the boy last night,” he said, his voice dropping low so the girls wouldn’t hear him.  “I might have been charged with more than assault if I’d found him first.”

I sipped my coffee. “He would have deserved it.”

Declan pushed himself away from the counter.  “I’ll help you clean up.”

“Don’t worry about it. You should get Moira home; I’m sure you have a busy Sunday.”

“You should get the girls to at least help you.”

“It’s fine, really,” I said.

Ignoring me, he stood straight, his presence commanding the room. “Let’s help Mrs. Devlin clean up,” he said.

There was authority in his voice but no edge. All three girls stood immediately and started clearing the plates. 

Declan handed me a fresh cup of coffee. “Don’t move,” he ordered in that same commanding voice his eyes on me. Daring me to defy him. 

I took the mug of fresh coffee from his hand. “Fine,” I said and went over to the other side of the kitchen to watch. 

When Declan left with Moira and Ava and Sasha had gone upstairs, I stood in my kitchen. Warm sunlight streamed into kitchen illuminating the dust motes in the air. The sound of light traffic from the street poured in from the open window mixing with the whirring sound of the dishwasher.  Now the kitchen felt too big. 

By evening, Sasha and Ava were in the family room doing homework. I’d called Sasha’s parents.  Told them she was staying with us.  Nothing else. That was Sasha’s story to tell.

Later that night I lay next to Jonathan.  Wide awake. His breathing was steady.

 Even. Unbothered.

 I slipped out of bed, made warm milk and took it to the sunroom. I stood in the dark and through the glass ceiling the stars shone bright. 

The weekend hit me all at once. Ava was safe. Nothing had happened to her.  But the fear of what could have, then Sasha, What almost—

I closed my eyes and saw Declan. Not deliberately.  

Declan.  The only dad on the PTA. Most of the moms gawked at him as if he were the clothing at a high-end fashion store. Beautiful but out of reach.   

But it wasn’t just how he looked. It was that he showed up. 

No other dad would ever say it to his face. But Jonathan had called him ‘pussy whipped’. “It’s because he works as a consultant from home, so he has time for PTA just like you housewives do.”

And then he would always add: “I don’t know his work also seems a little shady. IT consultant?”  

And that was how he always referred to Declan’s work. Shady. 

Declan worked as a contractor for the military.  Consulting in IT. He rarely spoke about it.  I also knew he had been a combat medic and then had gone into military intelligence. 

But to Jonathan, anyone not working in medicine was beneath him.

I was never going to get to sleep. I slipped out of bed and headed into the kitchen and made warm milk. Standing at the stove I tried not to remember Declan standing in the kitchen. No, what I thought about him had to stay locked in a tight box. Not good for you Helen. 

With the cup of warm milk in tow along with my book about the Fae prince I settled into my chair and let myself be drawn into another world, it was the only thing I could do now. 

The next week passed by quickly. Ava told me Sasha was seeing the counselor. The boy who attacked her was being charged with aggravated assault. It was a relief that there was some justice. Ava’s attitude towards me had changed. The teenage sneer faded from her face and she would sit in the kitchen doing homework during the evening instead of running up to her room.

Jonathan was gone more often. His research kept him busy. I’d always come to terms with him being stuck in a lab. I knew that when I’d married him and I’d believed he was pursuing a great cause. How can you complain about your husband not being home when he was working on curing cancer? 

So I didn’t complain that he would come home later than usual. 

This was our marriage and I’d come to terms with it and had accepted it.

The end of the week arrived and on Saturday it was the retirement party for the outgoing chief of the Oncology Department. Every doctor from the medical school would be there. And along with Diana, Declan would be there also.